Faux Hijrah

May 24, 2009 at 8:50 am (Global Society, Rant Box, Stupid Juice, The Umma, Travel)

Forgive my random smattering of thoughts.

Why, oh, why do people “make hijrah” without making all of the proper requirements?  Why?  Do they want to make their lives miserable?  Do they want to live in a quasi-visa limbo?  I like living here in the UAE but if I lose my job, I have to come home.  That’s just reality.  There’s only three ways for me to remain if I lose my current job. 

A) Find another job and get on their company visa,

B) Marry a local or someone from the GCC states so I can get sponsorship on his visa,

(Yeah, Aaminah, that’s IS very likely isn’t it?  Who would have ever imagined that!!?!! )

C) Or do visit visa runs every one to three months (which is time consuming and will eat your earnings) 

But if these don’t come through, I have to go.

As of this writing, unless you are a woman who marries a GCC male national, you ain’t getting no citizenship out here in the Gulf.  You can get a job and get a three year residency.  But that’s about it.  There’s some rumors that they are playing around with the idea of offering citizenship to the millions of expatriates that work here.  But as far as I know, it’s just rumors. 

I don’t understand the logic of overstaying on a visit visa—especially if you’re a Muslim.  It’s like you’re waving a flag and screaming, “Look at me.  I’m a suspicious illegal alien and obviously doing something involving terrorism!  Arrest me now!!!!”  Whether these visa-wreakin’-dudes and dudettes realize it or not, countries have codes, laws, boundaries and policies.  Yes, even the Muslim countries have regulations on visitation, residency, immigration and citizenship. 

One of the things that our religion teaches us is to accept the reality of our times and situation.  It would be great if the “Muslim world” was one big nebulous continent where anyone could travel anywhere with no problems and you could study as much deen as you want.  But that’s just not the case and trying to impose this impossible ideal on our current reality is reckless and dangerous.  These crazy stories of people “making hijrah” without having their affairs in order are almost impossible to believe. 

Read this quote again and again. 

Christoph Wilcke, a Middle East expert at Human Rights Watch, said that it is not unusual for students of religious studies to be at risk for arrest.

Keep in mind that they were arrested by Yemeni authorities, not American ones.  Why not go through the proper channels in order to study abroad?  I know plenty of Muslims who lived in Syria, Jordan, Egypt, Turkey, etc. and they went through the right channels.  It’s bad enough that the FiBBy has reduced itself into creating fake terror hoaxes in order to trick the American public into thinking that they are doing a good job.  (Yeah, when ARE they going to get OBL anyway?  It’s been, like, what, eight years?) 

Please, for the love of God Most High, be rational.  I totally understand the desire to want to learn more about Islam but sometimes, you just have to make due with what you have until God makes a way for you.

6 Comments

Scared

September 14, 2008 at 10:53 am (Rant Box)

Ramadan is going away too fast.  Way too fast.  Are we almost half way through the month?  This has got to be the busiest Ramadan ever.  And while I’m enjoying all the iftars and events with my new found friends, I’m downright terrified with what’s going on the States. 

Of course, after Katrina, my family, being the die-hard Southerners that we are, remained in the South.  So I have relatives spread out over Georgia, Louisiana, Tennessee and Texas.  Houston, Texas to be precise.  So I’m hoping they got out before Hurricane Ike battered the living daylights out of everything. 

But amongst other things…

I’m really scared about this election.  My family has made it fard ayn  that I vote.   McCain is leading in the poles?  Who are they asking?  Have you’ve been asked to take a poll? 

He has openly admitted (repeat that again, OPENLY admitted) that he does not know much about foreign policy or the economy.  So, what do you know?  He needs his daiughter to help him send an email?!?!?  Shoot, I know a man who became a computer expert at the age of 70 so I don’t buy that nonsense about age. 

What is happening?  What are they thinking? 

Okay, okay, McCain deserves props for being a war hero.  No doubt.  But….he thought Al Qeada was operating in Iran for goodness sake! 

And Palin…@@

Hey, I guess since I live right next to Saudi Arabia, that makes me an expert on Saudi foreign policy?!?!?!

She’s given one interview and Biden has given dozens.  Does she have an opinion—a strong, well-thought out opinion about anything?  Abortion?  Drugs?  Gun violence?  Health care?  Russia?  Iran?  Iraq?  Afghanistan?  The environment?  Pollution?  Anything?

Argh!

Please America, you’re battered and bruised.  So much crap has happened to you within the last seven years.  Don’t run back to the same people who are knocking your teeth out. 

Please vote for Barack.  He ain’t perfect but he’ll give some respect to the Constitution.   

He actually knows where, like, different countries are located.  He’s not a perfect man but he’ll love you and treat you better. 

Even dye-in-the-wool Republicans are shaking their heads. 

Make dua.

18 Comments

Aaaaaaah! Settling in Dubai (a list of annoyances)

August 19, 2008 at 12:46 pm (Izzy Mo in Dubai, Rant Box)

I already told ya.  For the next few months, one of the many, many, many, MANY purposes of this blog is to keep me from going insane while I’m here in Dubai.  I just wanted to say that before I begin my foray into the loony-ness of the next entry. 

Okay?  Okay.

I’m trying to learn how to give another Muslims their rights, you know?  Because even when a person is being an A-class moron, it’s not Sunnah to return the favor–even though your nafs is crying out for it.  Even though your gorilla-sized nafs wants to take a sledgehammer to their—you get my point.  So on top of getting sick and dealing with the apartment arrangements, that is what has kept me away from blogging.  I was too busy having mini meltdowns to blog.  I’m having too many “lost in translation” moments.  Waaaaaay too many “lost in translation” moments. 

If there’s anything that I’m going through that could be described as culture shock, it would be asking questions and people having no idea what I’m talking about, where I’m talking about or what I’m saying. 

“Where is this place (insert famous national landmark)?”  “Uh, I don’t know?”

“What forms do you need to open a bank account?”  Many different answers, most of them are wrong. 

“Where should I buy my bed?”  “Uh, I don’t know.”  “Didn’t you get your bed here?”  :::Deafening silence:::  What, did you steal your bed?  

“How do I get my water and electricity turned on?”

:::insert me walking up to counter of random store or office::: “Something, something in Arabic.”  “Umm, Good morning.  I need to find this.”  :::::insert them looking at me wondering why in the world do I look like them but can’t speak Arabic::::::

Where are you from originally?  I love that one.  @@ Welcome Muslimeen of the Emirates, I’m an American Muslim.  We exist and a lot of us don’t come from Muslim and/or Arab families!  Sometimes the “where are you from originally” game is fun but other times, when I need things done, it’s like, “Dude, close your mouth and give me my paperwork.”  It should stand to reason that if some Arabs look Black, then wouldn’t some Blacks look Arab?  The guy who processed my apartment paperwork looked like JJ from Good Timeswearing a dishdasha so there ya go.  He also gave me the tsk, tsk look.  Oy. 

But to continue…

Questions to mean coworker who is assigned to help you but doesn’t really help you, “What do I need for the apartment and when will you finalize the paperwork?” Responds with self-important annoying words and shouting.  “Okay, never mind! I forgot that you and only you are the only one that matters here.  Twerp.” And why is my other coworker asking questions about my underscarf?  I mean, I would expect that the hijab wars are a non-issue in the Corporate Emirati world, right?  RIGHT?!?!?! Good grief, you’ve got niqaabis in all black working 9 to 5 government jobs so there must be room for my long skirts and beaded hijabs, right?  Now really, I’m willing to put up with a lot of things but the hijab wars ended for me the States back in 2004.  What you wear or don’t wear on your head is between you and Allah.  Period.  If you hate the scarf I’m wearing, I will give you a list of many other things you can be concerned about ‘cuz Izzy’s clothing ain’t important! 

Oh yeah!  A mainstay of the Middle East–pedestrians with death wishes!!!  “Hello, I have no reason to live so please, hit me with your car.  I see you backing out of the driveway but I want to die so that’s why I’m walking behind your car.  No, I’m on a motorcycle and I will weave in between traffic as much as I wish so please kill me. Obey the speed limit?  Please, I will drive as slow or as fast as I please.”   

*************************************************************************

So I’m keeping my head above water, drinking copious amounts of water and hoping that I don’t hit someone with something heavy–like my car or a filing cabinet or something.  It could be so much worse.  My friend had to wait five months to get her apartment. My job, thankfully, is on the other side of town where the traffic isn’t so bad.  I make enough money so I don’t have to struggle so much like many people have to do here.  I’ve met some nice people who are willing to help when they can and most of my coworkers are friendly–even when they are driving me plum batty.  And yesterday, I went to the mall and saw Ramadan and Back-to-School decorations.  :-)   Makes your American Muslim heart flutter to see your holidays get some recognition.  Do you know our executive director is a very religious Muslim with no facial hair?  They love to get on him about that.  :-) “Brother, you are our office Mullah but you don’t even have a beard!  Noooo facial hair and you are giving dawah to our Christian friend.”  Too bad I didn’t have my camera at the time he let these two birds come into his office.  I’m not kidding.  Just two little birds chillin’ by his desk looking for a snack–very cute.

Oh, I have a new camera!  8 pixels!  Can’t wait to try it out and insha’Allah, I’ll get a chance this weekend.  I’ll be back soon. 

23 Comments

The Other Cartoon Controversy

July 20, 2008 at 7:52 am (Rant Box)

Yeah, right.  It’s a big deal now but in a few weeks, people will forget it like they always do.

My opinion on the cartoon:  I get it.  I saw the cartoon on the BBC news and I immediately got it. 

And while some feel that it was distasteful, I’m glad somebody had the gumption to illustrate the insanity and suspicions surrounding the Obamas.  There’s a reason why Michelle Obama is depicted with an Afro (Everybody knows you can’t be a radical if you have a perm!  The revolution will not wait for sistas getting their roots “touched up!”).  There’s a reason why Obama is dressed in traditional Afghan clothes.  After all, they coulda put a kufi and beard on him but that wouldn’t have brought the message home.  The cartoonist had to get real Muslimmy, ya dig?  We know they have had their patriotism called into question and that even a simple hand gesture became a “terrorist fist jab.” 

Oy, would someone just come out, be honest and say, “You know what?  I’m not voting for him because he’s Black.  He’s Blackie.  I don’t like him.  I don’t want that n***er in the White House.”  Quit pussyfootin’ around with all this nonsense about, “Oh, well, he’s young and he hasn’t been in office that long and well…he did go that church with that minister and maybe if he had more experience and while he’s such a nice, articulate guy and all….” Aaaaaah!  Just say it.  Keep in mind, I’m not talking about people who are voting for McCain because they sincerely  think, for reasons I will never understand, that he’s a good candidate.  I’m talking about those people who feel deep down inside that Obama is the lesser of two evils but they still won’t vote for him because he’s Black!  They can’t see past it so they will focus on something else–his wife, his minister, his lineage, his religion, his ability to put together a coherent sentence but not his actual politics!  Cut the crap and put the race card on the table because you know if Barack Obama was Barry Owens, the clean cut White lawyer-senator from Chicago, you wouldn’t be freaking out like this! 

Aaaaaaaaw!

I’m done.

3 Comments

Kuffiyeh Pride! Eat Krispy Krewe!

June 3, 2008 at 11:55 pm (American Society, Rant Box)

Salaamz people,

Look to the left and you will see that Brother Shaik has decided to use his wonderful art as a form of protest and satire. 

Visit iMuslim’s blog to get more info on Wear Your Kuffiyeh with Pride Day.

I’ll be back to comment on the last entry.  :-)

Leave a Comment

KABOBfest: Keffiyeh infiltrates our nation’s youth

June 1, 2008 at 3:06 am (American Society, Da Haters, Neurotica, Rant Box, Why They Hate Us-The Muslim Edition)

Please watch this!  :-)

Boycott Dunkin Donuts.  Spineless corporate punks!

Krispy Krewe RULES!!!!

Oh, there’s an International Wear Your Keffiyah Day on June 6th.  Shemaghs Unite!

3 Comments

!^?&*($#%$%!

May 10, 2008 at 2:49 pm (American Society, Rant Box, The Umma)

There are no words. 

No words at all. 

Sister Umm Zaid said enough for me.  And so did Brothers Tariq and Umar Lee.

We’ve all heard about this stuff happening in Germantown, PA (or Carjackistan, according to some).  Subhan’Allah, I guess there’s a reason why that trip Iwas supposed to make to Philly was cancelled.  We’ve heard the nicknames.  Filthy-delphia and Killa-delphia.  But we also know that what goes down up there, goes down in many parts of the US.  (After all, the National Guard *was* called in to handle the crime problem in NOLA)

But the biggest questions are right before us. 

How do we deal with this insanity inside and outside of our community?  How do you save a brother or sister from his/her destructive behavior?

I’ve had more than my fill with people who upon converting to Islam, change their name, their clothes and their speech (by using a blend of Arablish), but they change nothing else.  They think that not eating pork and going from Michael to Muhammad is all they have to do in order to get themselves right with the Most High.  That whole thing about “changing your condition” is serious business and it takes your whole life to perfect your character.  It takes a lifetime to learn how to guard that tongue, to be nicer to people (especially when they aren’t nice to you), and to slowly wittle away those silly attachments to the dunya. 

I don’t mean to be a cynic but I learned years ago that if you want to help someone, they have to want to help themselves.  I remember one close friend who I cried for day and night for because she was steadily destroying herself. She and I were both 13 years old and she already been with numerous men.  For her, sex seemed to be some sort of rebellion.  Allahu ‘alim.  It could have been her restrictive upbringing in a conservative Christian home (Muslims, take notice!)  It could have been her lashing out or reacting to some childhood abuse.  But whatever her reasons, nothing justified her downward spiral and the men who were willing to take advantage of her.  Of course, her partners were signifignatly older than her. They could have easily been arrested for statutory rape. 

I along with her friends used to beg her to stop sleeping around.  But the threat of AIDS and/or pregnancy meant nothing to her.  She certainly didn’t stop when she went to a party and woke up the next morning inside of a closet.  She didn’t know where she was.  She couldn’t remember what happened because she was smashed.  And she didn’t know where her underwear was.  To this day, I still don’t think she knows what really happened.  It wasn’t until she got pregnant that she had no choice but to stop.  Alhamdulillah, the child was a tremendous blessing because he gave her a reason to clean up her act.  But look what it finally took for her to snap out of her ghaflah.  And how many people do we know that STILL act stupid and immature long after the children have come?  Or how many people can you name who still act crazy after the years in prison or loss of respect among friends and family? 

How do you deal with someone who seems hell bent of self destruction? 

I haven’t done thorough research on the ATL community yet because it’s so big.  But I know there’s at least two domestic violence organizations and one crisis management organization.  In pre-Katrina New Orleans, there was Milati Islami, a group for Muslims and non-Muslims recovering from substance abuse.  But I’m not sure of any programs out there that can tackle the universial problem of triflin’ people. 

I guess one thing that can help is our refusal to be silent and call out the behavior for what it is.  Another thing that can help is to not tolerate it.  (Why do we tolerate it?  American Muslim women really need to answer this question for themselves.)  After all, why are sisters choosing to marry triflin’ men who want all the wives in the world but can’t afford the proverbial pot to pee in and a window to throw it out of!  This religion is for people who think and reflect.  Read that again! 

I know of one sister who did a lot of activism in the Philly community so I will have to ask her more about this particular community.  But it seems like this nonsense had been going on for far too long.  I sorta agree with Brother Rasheed’s suggestion of having manhood training classes.  Let’s add some womanhood training classes while were at it.  Please, let’s end the conspiracy of quicky marriages and even quicker births.  Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah!  Atlanta has its issues but this kind of mentality is not too prevalent down here.  Many Muslims are on the “Sunnah or Haqq” or whatever but they also have jobs, education and good old fashioned common sense. 

Agh!

I’ll have to come back to this. I’m through. 

5 Comments

Izzy Mo: The Hot Girl of Tagged.com

April 19, 2008 at 2:37 am (Love & The Masjid, Rant Box)

Yes, I can’t help it. The brothers love Izzy Mo. After all, I’m refering to myself in the third person. But I shouldn’t let their attention go to head. Most internet saavy Muslimas have had to deal with a crush or two. But you wanna know what makes me so attractive to the online fellas?

It’s only 3 simple words.

My American citizenship

Yeah, I just got a marriage proposal from some guy in Morocco.  (Morocco IS the place for single American Muslims converts to find a spouse, ain’t it?)  I mean, I don’t even get a salaamz.  It’s just a message in my inbox saying “do you want to be my wife?” 

Uh, no.  And, who are you?

I love how his profile page shows a picture of the Moroccan coat of arms and pictures of my lil’ paramour with no shirt on.  Of course, he is not to be outdone by another Moroccan dude (what it is with this country and its frisky, flirteous people?) who asked me how I’m doing.  I’m scared to respond. 

I must thank my friend, Silwadi4Life, for inviting to Tagged.com.  Tagged.com, if you haven’t heard, is a schuzzy little website.  It’s like the skank version of Facebook and MySpace.  Too often, WAY too often, profile pictures (and yes, even those of some Muslims) are sexually provocative.  Goodness, all this just to keep in touch with a friend! 

8 Comments

A Simple Request

April 19, 2008 at 1:45 am (Rant Box)

Salaam alaikum

Before I start, Umar Lee’s back.

Okay. 

Now, I’m down for the Palestinian cause as much as anyone else.  I do believe they are suffering huge human rights abuses and they have been pretty much abandoned by the Arab world.  I had this opinion prior to converting to Islam and it has not changed since my days in the anti-war movement.

However, I really hate seeing the corpses of dead Palestinians.  I feel like it’s exploiting the dead.  Yes, the dead have rights over us and I don’t know if taking a picture of a mangled corpse is going to endear others to their suffering.  I don’t mind seeing the bodies dressed and prepared for burial.  But it’s another thing to show me the picture of the body of a child shot through the stomach.  Today, I saw a picture of a woman and…I couldn’t even tell what happened to her because it was just too gruesome to figure out.  She barely had a face!

Subhan’Allah.  It’s like those anti-abortion activists who show pictures of the most horrific, mangled fetus they can find.  I don’t need to see prenatal limbs and skin rotting in some lab to know that abortion is wrong.  I know that violence is a daily part of our existence but there’s a line between showing suffering and parading it around like some creepy vouyer.  “See, look!  Look at how they raped and killed her!  See the blood and the maggots!”  It’s ghoulish. 

So, please, send me some statisics, or pictures of bulldozed homes.  I take children crying or women waiting for hours at check points.  I can deal with that.  But please, don’t shame the dead like that.

Salaamz

4 Comments

The Rebuttal

March 28, 2008 at 4:42 am (Muslimaz, Oppress This!, Rant Box, Why They Hate Us-The Muslim Edition)

Ifeminists has published my article on their website. 

Muslim Women:  An Insider’s View by Kelly Izdihar Crosby

Yeah, I’m quoting myself.  :-)   Oh, this evil ego..

Morgan, Darwish and Sultan are entitled to their opinions. But casting them as the two lone bastions of light in the supposed darkness of the Muslim world is an insult to the women who are actively working within the Muslim community to bring about positive change and lasting progress.
 

9 Comments

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