Izzy Mo’s Blog

 

 

Ha-ha, you knew it was coming!  What kind of expat would be if I didn’t whine and complain about my privileged experience in Emirati land?  Keep in mind, this is merely a release of six months of pent up frustration that I couldn’t get out when I first moved here.  I love it here, don’t get wrong, but everyplace has it’s issues.  Alhamdulillah, all these annoyances can be overcome.  This next entry is a collection of grievances from myself and others about living here.  I promise that it’s nothing too serious.  In fact, you’ll find these issues in every country.  They only seem more annoying because you’re a foreigner and you don’t know all the protocols.  As usual, I’ll try to keep down the sass factor.  (Yeah right!) 

Driving in Dubai

Aaaaaaaaaah!  Let me say it again.  Aaaaaaaaah!  Dubai has the some of the craziest, busiest, looniest traffic in the world.  No joke.  Worse than New York.  For real.  For people who live in Sharjah and work in Dubai, it takes them TWO HOURS to commute.  TWO HOURS in the morning, TWO HOURS in the evening.  Without traffic, it can take 15 to 25 minutes to reach either emirate.  I will only visit Sharjah when there is no traffic.  I love that little city but until Dubai Metro is complete, there will be no relief for those commuters.  At least, I hope the new metro will bring relief.  I know the RTA is trying.  Alhamdulillah, I live on the other side of town so I don’t have to deal with it! 

The stress of dealing with the traffic is made worse by the fact that many drivers here have NO COURTESY.  NONE!  NONE! It can break the most patient person.  Honestly, I was little scared when Ramadan came around because I thought I would lose my temper and ruin my fast.  They don’t use their blinkers.  They change lanes without notice.  They drive too slow.  They drive too fast and tailgate you when you are following the speed limit!  Traffic rules mean nothing!  Even though there are cameras and high traffic fines, THEY DON’T CARE.  And don’t forget the cursed roundabout!  That contraption created from the bowels of Satan!  Subhan’Allah, I’m glad they are getting rid of them because they are not made to handle big city traffic.  Another reason why the traffic is so bad is because there are people here from all around the world, each with their own driving standards.  So, just accept the fact that you will probably get into car accident.  Let’s just hope you make it out safely. 

And the pedestrians are no better.  This is reason why every time you open up the newspaper, you see an article about a terrible car accident killing X amount of people.  If people wouldn’t just jump out into the street.  If they wouldn’t assume that the driver can see them.  If drivers would slow down.  Whyyyyyyy are you speeding?  You have no life, you’re not important, there’s no dying man or pregnant woman in your car!!!!!!!!!!!  You know, one day I actually saw a man walk face first into a car!  My mother was freaking out when I was driving my folks around Dubai.  Some dude was about to walk right in front of my car while I was getting out of the parking lot. 

“Is he going to stop?  Can’t he see you?”

“He doesn’t care.”

“Are you going to stop?”

“NO.” 

And bullying.  Yeah, I’ve been bullied by these speed bandits and I challenge them right back.  You wanna go toe-to-toe with my 4 x 4?!?!?!?!?!?!?  I’ve already gotten into one accident and my car only got a scratch so I know it can take a beating.  Don’t be fooled by the housewife exterior!  I will drive you nuts on the highway!  I will make you slow down and obey if you tailgate me!  One guy was tailgating me and I slowed down to the point where he had to obey the law and slow down.  Another one drove close to my car and then raced around me.  “Whatever, man, I don’t care how rich you are!  I don’t care who you know.  It’s the LAW!!!!  And I’ve got American wasta!!!!!!!” The worst thing is that the bullies are either driving those Land Cruisers or some beat-up piece of junk. 

And pedestrians!  Why, oh why, do they walk behind your car when they see you pulling out of the driveway?  Why do people let their children run around in the parking lot?  Why?  Are they brain dead?  They have a death wish.  Okay, I’m stopping with this one because I’ll could dedicate an entire entry to this issue. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! 

“Coppy, Tee, Mill?” 

English is the business language of Dubai.  Every tourist guide will tell you that they speak English here.  And they do.  But…they don’t tell you how the accents affect the pronunciation of the English.  There’s an email joke floating around about customer service in the Middle East.  The room service clerk says, “Coppy, tee, mill?”  This translates into “Coffee, Tea, Milk?”  Oh, those first few weeks here were an exercise in cross cultural dialogue.  I had to get used to hearing English in a Filipino, Indo-Pakistani, and Arab accent.  I’m used to it now but subhan’Allah, it all used to sound like gibberish.  People mixing their Ps and Bs, and their Vs and Ws.  And my Moroccan manager had to throw in some French pronunciation of English words just to make it more fun.   

“Vhat vould you liyk, madum? Can I helb u? Frez oran juz? Breyfus?” 

“Hello, I make deelibery for bed but I hav no matrees.”

“Uh, can I spee to him, bleez?”

“Whaaaaat?  I can’t understand you.  Sorry, can you repeat that again.”

I’ve got one friend and I hate to laugh at her, but it’s so funny to see her crack on the customer service folks.  “What?  What are you saying?  I CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU!  Aaaaaaah!”  Which brings me to the next point…

Customer Service (or lack thereof)

If you think customer service is bad where you’re from, just come here and you will kiss the feet of that lovely staff person at your local McDonalds.  They will not help you.  They don’t care.  They are there to fill space.  That’s all.  Depending on what store you go into, three staff people will tell you three different things about the store. 

Insert me at the home décor store

“Do you have queen size sheets?”

“No, we have no queen size sheets.”

“Do you have this in a queen size?” 

“No, but we have these others you might like.”

“Do you have queen sized sheets?”

“Just these three, ma’am.”

“Do you have queen size sheets?”

“Oh, I don’t know.”  And they just stand there.   

One time, my friend’s husband went into an electronic store and inquired about something.  They actually told him that they don’t know what he’s talking about and that he should go to the other electronic store next door!  Who tells someone that they should try their competitor next door?  You will hear the phrase, “Oh, I don’t know, I just work here.”  It’s not all the stores and certainly not all the hotels.  If you are a visitor, you may not even run into this nonsense.  After all, they want to keep the tourists coming back.  But if you live here, you have to contend with it.  Some businesses don’t even try.  Don’t get me started on this rental car company I know of and their crooked ways! 

I don’t know why the customer service in some stores is so bad.  It could be the pay or the boredom of the job.  But if you spend nine hours in a store, shouldn’t you learn something about the products by osmosis—by simply being there?  They don’t bother to pretend.  They don’t try to learn more.  They just aren’t interested.  Now here’s the kicker.  Do you know what place has given me consistent, top-notch customer service each and every time in Dubai?  Mc Donald’s!  Can you believe it!  Mc Donald’s!  I don’t know what they’re drinking, but those are some of the happiest workers I’ve ever seen in my life.  They could teach their American coworkers a thing or two. 

Oh, but please, don’t do their job for them.  Then they get upset because they can’t admit that they made a mistake.  That would be too awful (or worse, admit the fact that they don’t know what they are doing).  Once again, it’s not all businesses.  The gas stations seem pretty good plus they pump the gas for you!  Some grocery stores have helpers to bring your stuff to your car!  I cherish this.  And for the good service workers out there, I make it a point to remember their names and faces so that I don’t have to deal with the idiocy of the others.  Because those guys…@@.  They will see you standing there waiting for service and not do anything.  Sometimes, they will stare at you while you are waiting!  That brings me to another pet peeve.

Staring

As a woman and a muhajaba, for the most part, I feel pretty respected.  I’ve never had any guy make rude comments or leer at me.  I mention this because some sisters complain about being stared at and/or approached by leering losers.  They’ve told me stories of guys hitting on them (whether they wore hijab or not) or staring at them in sexual manner (while their wives we’re sitting next to them). And then there’s the phenomenon of flirting through Bluetooth which totally escapes me.  And there’s a lot of stereotypes that play into this.  I imagine the case is different for women who wear revealing clothing.  Or, unfortunately, for Caucasian women, since some people seem to think that Sex and the City is the reality of all White women.  @@

I think the assumption among most people is that I’m a Muslim of Arab, African or Asian heritage.  Therefore, I’m probably married and if they approach me, a big hulky Mozzie guy might pop them in the face.  There must be something about my face that says “back off” or maybe I drank some ugly juice.  I don’t know. But I like the way how guys let me on the elevator first, how they open doors and keep their gaze lowered, or how a guy, no matter where’s from, might help me carry some heavy bags.  That’s usually how I interact with the men here.   I only had one guy say hello to me in a flirty way which came off sounding very, very nerdy.  No game at all!  

But…there is one group of men who like to stare—A LOT.  Those are the laborers.  It’s not all of them but they just stare, and stare, and stare.  My heart goes out to them because of the conditions they live under.  They make very little money.  No family (which means the wife/girlfriend is back home), no rest and relaxation.  No freedom to go as you please.  Maybe they are lonely, or bored… honestly, I don’t know what it is.  But that staring crap gets on my nerves.  They just stare at ya like you’re from out of space.  I don’t think it’s a sexual stare (at least I hope not).  My boss said, “Hey, don’t worry, they stare at me, too!”  And they probably do.  I want to ask them what they are staring at.  They probably couldn’t or wouldn’t answer me. 

Now, the boss thinks that if I was with a man, they would assume he was my husband and keep that gaze lowered.  Allahu ‘alim.  I just think it’s strange that I never get leered at in malls, at work, or any place else except when I drive or walk by a group of laborers.  Now a friend made a comment about how she feared being raped when being around them because of the staring thing.  At first, I thought the remark was a bit racist since the majority (if not all of them) are South Asian.  But the staring makes some women very uncomfortable as is evidenced by this article.  Plus it stigmatizes an already stigmatized group.  So, I just try to brush it off and make dua.  But if you are coming here for the first time, it takes a while to get used to and most women never get used to it at all.  

That’s enough for now.  Part Two’s coming soon.